Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
