I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
