oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize