just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
