Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
