And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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