I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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