do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Do vagina's smell?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
