the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The feeling are messing with the penis
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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