Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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