evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize