Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
