i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize