OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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