You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
