We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize