If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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