weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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