just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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