my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
