If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
