Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
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