You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
