She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
