So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
