Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
