A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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