So drunk its hurt
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
