Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
