Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
