I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
