Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
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Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
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I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.