I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.