I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water