I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
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Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
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Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.