Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Every concussion has its silver lining
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
