Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.