Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.