his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.