i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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