Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
pop tarts are not kleenex
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.