hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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