I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.