perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
