Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just pee around me
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
