yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
