MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
