Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
