im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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