ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
