Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
