WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
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You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
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When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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