Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
