You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
