Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize