If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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