Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
