I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
