I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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