This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
