White coat. Heels.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
