being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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