At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
