my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she peed on how many people?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
