He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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