So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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