at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
