ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
