he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
