"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
