I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
