You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
