I love black thongs
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
