I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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