i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
