hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
