No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
