in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
