Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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