So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
